How to manage anger
Anger - a normal emotion – that everyone feels angry sometimes, but people handle anger differently. Some people hold it inside and say that they are'nt angry. Peoples lose control and lash out at parents, friends, or other people and things around them. In fact, uncontrolled anger can even leads to physical fights and some other types of violence. But anger does not have to lead to violence. Learning the techniques how to control anger is an important one. One may have to stand up themelf at times, but knowing how to control their anger can help them make smarter choices.
Anger is a powerful force that can be positive or otherwise negative. Handled well, anger can spur us to do something constructive about a problem. It can do serious damage to our relationships, if Handled badly.
Chronic anger not only hurts relationships, it can affect your health.
Most anger stems from a feeling of losing control of our lives. By getting angry, we are able to temporarily regain a feeling of power.
Techniques to Manage
You can handle anger constructively if you interrupt the automatic, negative spiral of thoughts and emotions.
Keep a journal: Take a small notebook with you. The next time when you get angry, imagine you are a newspaper reporter collecting facts for media. Immediately after the incident, write down what occurred., who you were with ., where you were ., and the houghts that went through your mind before, during, and after your anger. Do this in private so that only you can think clearly. Observing and recording details enables you to use rational powers of objectivity and analysis, rather than relying on impulse and emotion.
Know the early warning signs: Pay attention to the physical and mental symptoms of your anger. Write these signals down in a notebook. At first, you may not recognize them until after you have gotten mad. Over time, you’ll notice them earlier and earlier.
Look for patterns: What situations provoke you? See if you can identify common themes, such as being criticized, having your authority challenged, or feeling ignored. Ask yourself whether these themes remind you of other times in your life—especially childhood and adolescence, when many of our habitual reactions are formed. Exploring the roots of your anger helps you be more objective, so that you are no longer at the mercy of your habitual response. Some people find counseling useful in uncovering deeper sources of anger.
How to Manage Anger
Create a safety plan: On an index card, write down four things you can do that will help you calm down when you begin to get mad. Common techniques include breathing deeply, walking around the block, counting to 10, or calling a friend. Carry the card with you.
Call a time-out: The moment you notice any of your warning signs, take a break and put your safety plan into action. If you are with other people, politely excuse yourself from the situation.
Example: “I know this issue is important to you. Let’s take a break and continue this conversation in 15 minutes.” Important: Keep your “exit strategy” simple. A scripted excuse is useless if you can’t remember it under pressure.
Change what you are saying to yourself about the situation: By changing the negative statements we make to ourselves, we can change our emotions.
Learn assertiveness and problem-solving skills: After learning why you become angry, you may want to clarify a misunderstanding or correct a wrong using rational thought—not rage. You can do this by using assertive communication, negotiation, and problem-solving techniques.
Example: Clearly stating how you feel ., acknowledging the other person’s point of view ., assessing and weighing options for action ., agreeing on a trial period for change.
Develop spiritual strengths: Coming to terms with anger requires making peace with the fact that we can’t control many parts of life—not layoffs, illness, or other people’s reactions. Spiritual connectedness can help us accept our limitations and embrace our need for the help of others.
This doesn’t necessarily mean adopting a religion. Many find spiritual solace in nature., exploring meditation ., opening up to friends and family about fears and concerns ., helping others by volunteering or mentoring
Share Feelings: If you feel angry all of the time, or think you are acting in ways that seem out of control or scary, talk to a trusted adult. Learning to talk about your feelings is important. Sometimes anger is really a cover for hurt feelings or other problems, and it’s okay to ask for help.
Is someone angry with you? Solve it
Everyone has conflicts and problems…how you solve them is what is important. If you have a friend who is acting weird towards you, call or send an IM to ask why and really listen to what she or he has to say. Is someone trying to make you mad on purpose? Ignore it or ask why, but remember that no one controls your feelings but you!